


Our Manchester Days

by waveydnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Fluff, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Reality, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: Just a little slice of 2009 Dan and Phil getting together as I like to imagine it. Sweet and fluffy and a little bit sexy, just like our boys





	Our Manchester Days

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make this realistic but of course there's just way too much canon out there to be 100% accurate

_hey dan you up?_

It was 11pm and Dan was slouched in bed with his laptop, mindlessly browsing twitter and YouTube, trying to convince himself that he hadn't been waiting with bated breath for just such a text from the boy who was rapidly invading all the corners of his mind. Years of faithful viewership had given Dan ample opportunity to develop a deep admiration for Phil and his videos. What began as enthusiasm for Phil's quirky, funny, sometimes strangely dark skits and vlogs slowly evolved to include an appreciation for the YouTuber himself, until Dan could no longer deny that he was infatuated with a person he would never meet.

And that person happened to be a man. It was hardly the first time he had felt the stirrings of attraction for a member of the same sex, but the increasing intensity of his feelings had forced him to come to terms with a part of himself that had always felt hazy, confusing. He had been content to box up this particular issue and shove it away where it couldn’t be seen. After all, he’d been with the same girl since he was fifteen. But his escalating feelings for Phil had played no small role in ultimately accepting that his first real relationship was not meant to last.

With this revelation came the overwhelming desire to explore his feelings, to validate his sexual discovery with something tangible. He wanted Phil to notice him. He knew it was a long shot to say the least, but the pseudo-anonymity of the Internet gave him just the confidence he needed to start barraging Phil with comments on every tweet, every video, every little piece of AmazingPhil content Dan could find.

Apparently Dan's combination of teenage impulsivity, relentless perseverance and fanboy flattery was exactly what it took to catch Phil's eye. He began casually replying to Dan's comments until they were having long conversations, messaging each other privately, discovering that they had more in common than Dan could have ever dreamed.

In the span of a few months they had become friends. The kind of friends who text each other constantly, who love all the same music and movies and TV shows and video games, who make each other laugh until they cry. The kind of friends who comfort each other after a bad day. The kind of friends who flirt shamelessly.

Dan could hardly believe that he had managed to befriend his favourite YouTuber, let alone that this beautiful, creative man might reciprocate his feelings. But the more they talked, the less Dan thought about the fact that Phil was a semi well-know Internet personality, that Phil was almost five years older, that Dan had spent countless hours studying the sound of Phil's voice and the deep blue of his eyes. The endless texts and long phone conversations had forged a bond between the two that was undeniably mutual.

_of course mate_

_good, i kind of wanted to talk to you about something_

Dan felt his heart leap up into his throat. For all the flirting and innuendo they'd been trading, nothing had been discussed, no declarations made. They were still dancing around each other, both seeming unsure of how to take the next step, or even what that step might be.

_oh yeah?_

_uh huh, can i call you?_

_yup_

Dan took a few deep breaths, trying desperately to calm his heart rate. He didn't want his voice to be shaky. He heard his phone ring and forced himself to wait ten seconds before answering.

"Hi Phil."

"Hey Danny. So what are you up to?"

"Ugh, Danny? You're lucky you're cute, Lester."

Phil laughed and Dan felt a faint fluttering in his stomach. The first time they had spoken on the phone, Dan had been surprised to discover that Phil's voice was quite different off camera, impossibly deep and soft with a pronounced Northern accent that Dan could only describe as sexy.

"I'm just wasting my life away on the internet, as usual." He paused for a minute before blurting out, "I may have posted something on Dailybooth."

That something happened to be a photo of Dan lying naked in bed covered by nothing more than a few strategically placed teddy bears. He held his breath as he waited for Phil's reply; Dan knew he was really pushing the boundaries of their established level of flirtatious banter with this picture.

"Oh yeah? Hold on, let me look."

Dan heard the sound of Phil's fingers on his keyboard and then... silence. Too much silence.

Finally, Phil cleared his throat. "Fuck, Dan."

“That good?”

“Uh, yeah. Wow.”

“I’ve already got some ideas for the next one,” Dan teased.

“Can’t wait.”

Dan was glad they weren’t on Skype, glad Phil couldn’t see the colour blotched on Dan’s cheeks or the ridiculous grin plastered across his face.

“You know, you could always just skip the middleman and send them straight to me.”

Damn. Phil was stepping up his game, Dan thought. “Maybe I will.”

Phil laughed again, diffusing the tension. “So what did you do today?”

“Umm... actually, I may have done that thing you told me I should do.”

Phil was quiet for a minute before exclaiming, “Wait, what? You filmed a video?!”

“Yeah. It’s so shit.”

“I’m sure it’s not. Nothing you do could be shit. When can I see it?”

“I dunno, Phil. I probably won’t ever post it or show it to anyone. It’s crap.”

“Dan. Show it to me. I can give you editing tips. Anyway, people’s first videos are always rubbish. Just look at mine. Nothing could be worse than that.”

Dan chuckled. He was inspired by the videos Phil made, their quirky editing and dark humour, but he had to admit that Phil was right; his first video was pretty awkward.

Dan sighed. “I’ll send it to you later, but you have to promise you won’t laugh. And I’m not promising that I’ll post it either.”

“Deal,” Phil said triumphantly. “But you will post it someday. I’m very persistent. You’ll give me what I want eventually.”

“Is that right?” Dan wondered if Phil realized how that would sound before he said it.

“Yep. You’re going to be famous in no time, danisnotonfire.”

Dan snorted. “Whatever you say AmazingPhil.”

There was a part of him that hoped Phil was right. Dan had created his YouTube channel three years ago and had never posted a video. He had countless ideas floating in his mind, nebulous and scattered. He had never even attempted to flesh any of them out into something worthy of sharing with the Internet because he knew himself. He knew that if he ever managed to film something he would immediately begin picking it apart and convincing himself that no one would ever be interested. Growing up for Dan had meant developing frequently crippling self-doubt and self-esteem issues, but there was something about Phil’s relentless positivity and optimism that gave Dan hope. He was quickly becoming addicted to the way Phil made him feel.

“Send it now?”

“Ugh, fine, but don’t watch it ‘til later.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t. Feel free to send some nudes, too.”

“Phil!” Dan squawked.

“Kidding! ... Unless you want to.”

“We’ll have to wait and see how good those editing tips are first, mate.”

“Daniel, I have a Master’s degree in video postproduction. You better get your camera ready.”

Dan grinned. He loved these late nights spent talking to Phil, laughing and teasing. He never wanted them to end. It was at that moment that Dan was hit with a particularly strong desire to see what Phil’s face looked like when making these dirty jokes, to see what would happen if they weren’t separated by 250 kilometers.

The jolt of longing was enough for Dan to say without thinking, “I wish I was there with you so I didn’t need my camera.”

He immediately jammed his face into his pillow, as if he could hide from what he’d just said. There had been no precedent set for soppiness in their conversations. He was paralyzed as he waited for Phil’s reaction.

“Me too, Dan,” Phil said softly.

Dan felt warmth bloom in his chest. “So, uh, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked quietly.

“Oh, right. Well, I was going to ask you a question actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. But I think you just kind of answered it already.”

Dan’s heart was pounding; he could feel his pulse in his ears. “What, Phil?” he whispered.

“I was going to ask you if you wanted to meet. In person. Soon.”

Dan laughed. “Of course I do, you spoon.”

“Ok! Brilliant. I do too.”

“When?” Dan asked.

“Well, there’s this thing called Summer in the City in London on Halloween this year where a bunch of Youtubers get together, and after there’s the Halloween gathering where we all wear shitty costumes and get drunk. If I can convince you to post your video before then, you’ll officially be a Youtuber.”

Dan forced himself to shove aside the disappointment that threatened to wash over him. Phil wanted to meet Dan in a crowd of other internet people? Had Dan been badly misinterpreting Phil’s signals? Did he just have an insanely flirty personality?

“Oh. Sounds fun,” Dan said, trying desperately to sound casual.

“Yeah, I was hoping that would be a little extra incentive for you to post your video.”

All that Dan could manage in reply was, “Hmm.”

“I just think it’d be good for you to meet other video makers. And it’ll be a fun thing to do for our second meet-up.”

“Uh, second?”

“Yeah. My parents are away next weekend. I want you to come stay with me in Manchester.”

*

Dan let his mind wander as he watched the space between his home and Phil’s get smaller and smaller out the train window. He had tried to focus on the towns and hills and valleys that came and went behind the glass, but all he could see was Phil. He was finally going to meet Phil.

The last week and a half had been a whirlwind of preparation and anxiety and anticipation. Phil had made good on his promise to help Dan craft his video into something he felt reasonably willing to share with the internet. The response had been so overwhelmingly positive that Dan had filmed and uploaded another before it was time to board the train to Manchester. He had also posted a couple more suggestive pictures to Dailybooth, much to Phil’s amusement.

He tried to read the magazine he’d bought for the ride, but he couldn’t focus on the words. His mind was swimming with all kinds of things, clouded with questions and uncertainty. Would they get along as well in person as they did over the Internet? Had Phil been flirting because he was interested in Dan or was he just humouring him? Did Dan even know for sure what he wanted?

Instead of allowing himself to unravel with the nervousness and ambiguity of all that lay ahead, he pulled out his phone. Talking to Phil was always a perfect distraction, even if the thing he needed to be distracted from was thinking about Phil.

_why do we live so far from each other.. i had to get up way too early_

_i promise i’ll make it worth it_

_o.o_

_it’s your fault for posting those pics. stop being so damn pretty dan howell_

_no promises :] where are you now_

_on the bus. i’m meeting my best friend at the train station_

_no way??_

_yeah, i can’t wait to give him a big hug_

_i heard a rumour he’s pretty excited about it too_

_see you soon danny_

_< 3_

Dan smiled. He had nothing to worry about. Phil was his best friend. If it never went any further than that, Dan would still consider himself the luckiest guy on Earth.

An hour later, the train pulled into Manchester Picadilly Station. Dan slung his bag over his shoulder, stretched the stiffness of the three-hour train ride from his long legs and climbed down the steps to the platform. He fiddled with his long fringe for the hundredth time that day, hoping it hadn’t started to curl at the ends, as it tended to do whenever he desperately wanted to look nice. His heart raced as he skimmed the crowd for his favourite YouTuber.

The moment he spotted his friend’s jet-black hair and lanky frame, Dan’s apprehension melted away. Phil was grinning from ear to ear and walking forward with his long arms outstretched. They closed the distance between themselves in seconds and embraced each other tightly. Dan was pleased to discover that they were almost the same height as he squeezed Phil’s shoulders a little tighter. He was warm and his shoulders were broad and he smelled like vanilla and coffee and fabric softener.

“I can’t believe I’m hugging AmazingPhil,” Dan laughed, only half joking.

Phil pulled away and studied Dan’s face for a moment. “You’re even lovelier than you are on Skype. I didn’t think that could be possible.”

Dan felt heat rush to his cheeks. He didn’t know what to say to that, so he contented himself with looking into Phil’s eyes and smiling sheepishly. He realized then that Phil was right; photos and videos are a poor imitation of real life. Phil was gorgeous. His shiny black hair swept across his forehead and fell the slightest bit into big blue eyes that were crinkled at the corners with the bright smile that lit up his face.

“I thought of a way to help with the ‘having to wake up early’ thing,” Phil said.

“How’s that?” Dan asked, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from where they’d wandered to stare at Phil’s surprisingly full bottom lip.

“Starbucks!”

*

With their caramel machiattos in hand, they managed to locate a small, unoccupied sofa in the corner of the coffee shop and tuck themselves in. It was snug and cozy and Dan was hyper aware of every part of himself that touched Phil.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Dan asked.

“I have a couple things planned for later, but I thought until then I could just show you around and stuff.”

Dan felt his pulse quicken slightly. What did Phil have planned for later?

“Sounds good mate.”

They spent the next few hours wandering the streets of Manchester, Dan remarking that it was much cooler than his own hometown of Wokingham; every building seemed to resemble a space station. When they came to an AppleStore Phil decided it was their duty as professional internet people to take photos and post them to Dailybooth on one of the store’s MacBooks.

Even as they walked they remained close enough that occasionally Dan’s hand would brush Phil’s, their shoulders would bump. The more time passed, the more at ease Dan felt, laughing and joking and deepening their friendship.

Being with Phil was like a breath of fresh air. After eighteen years of superficial friendships and loneliness and confusion, of feeling like he had to box up the parts of himself that were different and uncool, Dan had finally met someone who made him feel like himself. Not like the Dan-shaped character he had carved out to survive the brutal landscape of adolescence, but the real Dan, who liked musical theatre and anime and video games, who hated sport. The Dan who had decided he definitely wanted to kiss a boy.

They walked around for what felt to Dan like ages. Just as he began to wonder when ‘later’ was, Phil stopped in front of the glass doors of a very tall hotel. He opened the door for Dan and smiled. “Stop number one.”

“Where are we?” Dan asked.

“You’ll see.”

Once inside the lift, Phil pressed the button for the 23rd floor. The lift went straight up and when the doors opened, Dan could see that they were in a bar. A very posh, beautiful, expensive-looking bar with floor to ceiling windows all around and a truly dazzling view of the city. “Sky bar,” Phil said.

“Wow.”

Dan felt in a daze as Phil ordered drinks and led him to a table by one of the windows, with two large sofa chairs on either end. As he sat down and gazed out the window he noticed the sun was starting to set. He realized with a little jolt in his stomach that Phil had planned this perfectly. It was a date. In a very romantic place.

He took a sip of his drink. It was fruity and sweet, and he felt the sting of the alcohol on the back of his tongue. The warmth he felt as it settled in his stomach soothed his sudden nerves so nicely that he had drunk the whole thing in only a few gulps. Before he had time to feel embarrassed, he noticed that Phil had done exactly the same. He felt a burst of affection; Phil was just as nervous as Dan.

“Do you want another one?” Phil asked.

“Only if you do.”

“K, be right back.”

When Phil returned with the second round of drinks, Dan decided it was time for him to demonstrate just how happy he was to be here with Phil. He picked up his drink, stood up and walked over to Phil’s side of the table. Phil looked at Dan inquisitively until Dan said “Move over.”

Phil shuffled over to make room for Dan. There was just enough space for the two of them to sit together. Once again, they were pressed up against each other snugly, and Dan found he liked it. He really really liked it. He turned to lock eyes with Phil and said, “This place is amazing.”

“I thought you might like it,” Phil smiled.

The sun was setting and the lights dimmed only to be replaced by fairy lights high up on the ceiling, giving the bar a soft warm glow. Dan looked out the window at the beauty of the darkening sky and the lights of the city and he thought maybe this was the loveliest moment of his life so far. Then he felt Phil slip his hand into Dan’s, their fingers interlocking. Dan leaned over and rested his head on Phil’s shoulder and squeezed his hand as they watched the sun set over Manchester.

*

A few drinks later Phil was pulling a tipsy Dan out into the cool October evening, promising one more adventure before the night was over. They were giggling and talking as they walked. Dan was so happy that he didn’t even wonder where they were going until he noticed what looked like a giant Ferris wheel in the distance.

“Are we going on the big wheel, Phil?”

“Um, maybe.”

Dan quieted as they approached the wheel. His mind was reeling with the knowledge that he was more than likely approaching a line, a terrifying line that was beyond his comfort and experience, and yet, he knew in the same instant that he couldn’t wait to cross it. He wanted Phil. He wanted to call Phil his and wake up sharing the same space. He wanted to know what Phil tasted like, how his face would look when Dan touched him for the first time. He wanted to feel Phil’s skin against his and know that there would always be a next time.

As soon as they sat on the cold hard seat of the passenger car, Dan took Phil’s hand in his and turned it over in his lap. Phil watched as Dan traced gentle circles on the back of Phil’s hand with his thumb and marvelled at the delicateness of Phil’s fingers and the impossible softness of his skin. Dan could feel a slight tremble in the fingers laced between his own, and that was the last push he needed to show Phil exactly how much he was wanted.

As the wheel slowly lifted them higher into the chill of the night sky, Dan could feel the warm buzz of alcohol flowing through his veins, making him fearless in that moment. He said softly, “Phil.”

Phil raised his eyes to stare deeply into Dan’s, and Dan was relieved to see his own intensity mirrored in Phil’s expression. The starry blackness wrapped around them as they neared the top of the wheel so that all he could see was Phil. He leaned forward slowly until their foreheads were pressed together. They stayed connected this way for a moment, eyes closed, breathing slow and deep. Dan lifted his hand and ran his fingers through the silky hair at the nape of Phil’s neck. He tilted his head and when his lips met Phil’s the touch was gentle and sweet, and Dan felt Phil breathe out a contended sigh. At this, the corners of Dan’s mouth lifted in elation and then they were both smiling against each other’s lips.

They pulled away from each other giggling and Dan thought that it was the perfect first kiss to share with Phil, the slightly uncoordinated man who made Dan smile more than anyone ever had.

“This is really nice and all, but can we get out of here?” Dan asked, lacing his fingers through Phil’s once again. He wanted to kiss Phil again, harder and hotter, someplace warm and intimate where no one could see them.

“Definitely.”

*

It was late by the time they got to Phil’s. The long bus ride and chill of the late October night had been enough to sober Dan up and allow the nervous fluttering in his stomach to creep back in. Gratitude washed over him when Phil broke the tension by asking, “So, do you want a tour?”

“Sure,” Dan smiled.

As it turned out, Phil’s house was kind of terrifying. Dan couldn’t help but remark that it bore a strong resemblance to the hotel from The Shining.

“Mate, no offense but this place is really scary,” Dan said.

“Yeah, I know. I think it’s actually haunted,” Phil laughed.

“Are you actually kidding me?”

“No, I swear. Weird stuff happens all the time.”

“Phil, I wasn’t kidding when I told you I’m afraid of the dark. I hope there’s a nightlight in whatever demonic room you plan for me to sleep in.”

“Oh,” Phil said, looking suddenly nervous. “You could… sleep in my room. With me. If you want.”

“I’m definitely not going to say no that,” Dan said with a cheeky smile. He felt his stomach flip in excitement but forced himself to remain casual to put Phil at ease.

“Are you tired?” Phil asked.

“No. Are you?”

“No… so what do you wanna do?”

Dan thought for a moment before saying, “I want you to show me your bed.” Phil’s eyes went wide before Dan continued, “…room.”

Phil huffed out a laugh and shoved Dan’s arm playfully. “You wanker!”

“No but seriously, can we just hang out in your room?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

“K, just let me use the loo first.”

Dan grabbed his bag and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas. Normally he slept in nothing more than his underwear but he didn’t want to tease Phil too much on their very first night together. He tried to will away the anxiety that was building in his chest. He didn’t want to start overthinking things and ruin the elation he’d been feeling ever since he stepped off the train.

The problem was, Dan couldn’t help it. Overthinking was what he did best. There was absolutely no room for doubt in his mind that he was attracted to Phil. Dan recalled late nights alone in the dark, taking himself in his hand as his mind swam with thoughts of Phil’s broad shoulders and stubbled jaw and deep voice, and how carnally effective these imaginings were. But thoughts were a whole world away from actions and Dan was starting to panic. He had no idea how to be with a boy. He had flirted with Phil so aggressively and so expertly that he was left with the fear that Phil probably had no idea how utterly inexperienced Dan was. He splashed cold water on his face and forced himself to go join Phil in his room.

When Dan stepped into Phil’s room he found Phil sitting cross-legged on the bed with his MacBook in his lap. Dan must have looked a little off because Phil furrowed his brows and asked, “You ok?”

“Uh, yeah. Just, maybe I’m a little more tired that I thought. I did wake up ridiculously early today you know.”

“Oh, ok, you want to sleep?”

Dan chewed on his bottom lip unconsciously, as he tended to do when he was nervous. He wasn’t ready for this incredible day to end. He just wanted to get lost in Phil and forget all his bullshit teenage angst.

“No… maybe we could just… get in bed and… talk.”

Phil placed his laptop aside, stood up and walked over to Dan, reaching out and wrapping his long arms tightly around Dan’s shoulders. Instantly, Dan felt the tension leave his body. He melted into Phil, slinging his arms around Phil’s waist and burying his face in Phil’s shoulder.

“I’m nervous too, Dan,” Phil said softly. “I really really like you.”

Dan felt his throat tighten slightly with the emotion of it all. “I like you too, Phil. A lot.”

Phil pulled away from the embrace but took Dan’s hand in his and pulled him over to the bed. Phil climbed onto the bed and under the checkered blue and green duvet made famous in the background of most of his videos.

Dan felt star struck for a minute as the realization hit that he was standing in the bedroom he’d been watching Phil in for years. “Wow. Actual AmazingPhil’s bedroom. I’m fangirling so hard right now.”

“Get in here with me, Dan. AmazingPhil is lonely,” Phil said, patting the space on the bed next to him and grinning.

“You think you’re making a joke but I’ve thought about this moment a lot, Phil. I’m finally in your bed.”

Once Dan was lying under the covers, Phil rolled away from him and turned off his lamp so that the only light in the room came from the streetlamp outside filtering in through Phil’s window. It fell across Phil’s face softly, illuminating it just enough for Dan to make out the fond expression displayed there. They were lying on their sides facing each other, close enough to touch their knees together.

“I had so much fun with you today, Phil. I’m so glad we’re finally together.”

“Me too, Dan.”

“So what are we going to do tomorrow?”

“Actually, I was hoping we could maybe film a video together?”

“Wow, Phil. That was quick.”

“Not that kind of video!” Phil laughed. “Unless you want to.” He tried to wink, but failed miserably.

“Don’t tempt me Lester.”

Phil giggled, and Dan’s heart melted a little when he saw Phil stick his tongue out slightly between his teeth as he laughed. Dan had seen Phil do this many times in videos, but to see it in person was a whole new level of adorable. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. We could do a Q&A type of thing with questions from Twitter. People really liked the Q&A videos I did last month.”

Dan remembered. He had been one of those people. Phil had been exceptionally flirty and suggestive in those videos, and a small part of Dan had hoped that it had something to do with an eager young man Phil had been spending most of his nights with on Skype.

“But I’m so awkward, especially on camera,” Dan said.

“Trust me, you’re not. You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about us in bed together.”

“Oh yeah?” Dan shuffled a little closer to Phil so that there was scarcely any space between them.

“Definitely,” Phil said, his voice growing deeper.

“And what were we doing in these thoughts?” Dan asked as seductively as he possibly could.

Phil moved in closer and whispered filthily right into Dan’s ear, “I don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”

Dan felt a jolt of arousal rip through him. He definitely wasn’t nervous anymore. “Show me,” he said hoarsely.

Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s waist and pulled him in to press their bodies tightly together. He moved his mouth from beside Dan’s ear down to his neck and pressed a gentle kiss to the spot just below Dan’s jaw. Dan gasped softly then, and Phil seemed emboldened by the sound. He parted his lips and began to bite and suck gently down Dan’s neck, sending a chill through his whole body.

It wasn’t until Phil moved up to bite Dan’s earlobe and moan faintly that Dan couldn’t keep from reaching his hands up to take hold of either side of Phil’s head and crash their lips together. It was hot and desperate at first, their mouths moving against each other with the release of longing built up over months of suggestive pictures and late night Skype calls. They stayed this way for a while, connecting their lips again and again, enthralled with the newness of tongues brushing together and hands tangled up in hair, pulling each other ever closer.

Dan pulled his face away and tightened his grip on Phil’s hair, pulling his head back gently but firmly to expose his long neck and pronounced Adam’s apple. He wasted no time in licking up from Phil’s collarbone to his jaw and ruthlessly sucking a hickey there. He had lost all inhibition, riding high on the intoxicating warmth of Phil’s body and the taste of his lips. When Phil responded by grabbing Dan’s hips and rolling his own forward, Dan shuddered. The material of his pyjama bottoms was thin and he could feel every inch of Phil pressing into him, solid and pronounced.

Phil let go of Dan’s hips and rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with his hand. “Shit, Dan,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Dan’s mind was still reeling. He wanted to tell Phil he had nothing to be sorry for, that he should climb on top of Dan and do whatever the hell he wanted to him, but he was still breathless from the feeling of Phil’s hands gripping him possessively, of Phil grinding himself into Dan. “S’ok,” was all he could choke out.

Phil threw his arm over his eyes. “I told myself I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“Why?” Dan asked with a pang of insecurity.

He removed his arm and rolled over to look into Dan’s eyes. “I don’t want to pressure you. I’m kind of a lot older than you, and we just met…”

“Phil, I’ve talked to you probably more than anyone else in my life, apart from maybe my Grandma. Technically I think you know me better than anyone I’ve ever met. And you may be older but no offense mate, you’re just as immature as me!”

Phil smirked. “Fair enough.” He paused a moment, before asking nervously, “But… you’ve never been with a guy before, have you?”

“Well, not really… have you?”

“Umm, kind of, yeah.”

The memory of the intense desire Dan had felt only moments ago motivated him to cut through the awkwardness and uncertainty hanging above them. He may have been new to the whole making-out-with-a-boy thing, but he knew he liked doing it with Phil. Maybe even more than he thought he would.

He reached out and placed his hand on Phil’s chest. “Phil.” Dan paused. He leaned forward and planted a brief, feathery kiss on Phil’s lips. “I want you.”

“I want you too… obviously,” Phil chuckled. “But we can go as slow as you need. We can do whatever you want.”

Dan shook his head. “I want you,” he said again. “The only thing is… I just… I want it to be good for you too. When it… something… happens.”

Phil laughed. “Dan, you don’t need to worry about that, I promise. You’re doing just fine.”

Dan smiled. “So, you’re kind of into me then, yeah?” he teased.

“A little bit, I guess,” Phil said as he reached out and tenderly brushed the fringe out of Dan’s eyes. “I think maybe we should sleep now before my hormones get the better of me again.”

“Only if you promise not to stop yourself next time.”

“Deal.”

*

Dan awoke the next morning to the feeling of warmth on his face from the bright sunshine streaming in through Phil’s window. They had fallen asleep leaving a respectable amount of space between them, probably, Dan thought, a conscious decision on Phil’s part. Despite their conversation the night before, Dan knew that Phil worried about pushing him into anything physical before he was ready. He looked at Phil’s peaceful sleeping face and his heart ached a little. This beautiful man lying next to him was probably the most genuinely kind person he’d ever know.

Phil was still sound asleep, so Dan rolled over and grabbed his phone from off the floor. He automatically opened up Twitter and noticed that Phil must have tweeted after Dan fell asleep.

_ahappyphil_

He couldn’t stop himself then from laying his head on Phil’s chest. Phil stirred and wrapped his arms around Dan, pulling him in closer. “Good morning,” he said groggily without opening his eyes.

“Morning.”

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Uh huh, not a single ghost attack.”

“They know not to mess with me, just look at these muscles.”

Dan laughed, tilting his head up to look at Phil’s face. “So manly.”

“You hungry?” Phil asked.

“Yeah. Can I shower first though?”

“Sure. Come find me in the kitchen after.”

After Dan had brushed his teeth, showered and gotten dressed, he looked in the mirror and suddenly realized with horror that he’d forgotten his straighteners. His brown hair was already starting to curl wildly as it dried. He cursed under his breath; he had always been irrationally insecure about his curls.

When he entered the kitchen, Phil was reaching into the cupboard to grab two bowls. Dan flinched when Phil turned around. He watched Phil’s eyes widen as he took in the unruly mess that was Dan’s hair.

“Oh my god! Your hair is so curly!”

“I forgot my straighteners,” Dan said dejectedly.

“Why would you ever want to straighten that? It’s bloody gorgeous.”

“Ugh, it’s fine, you don’t have to lie, I know I look horrendous.”

At that, Phil walked over to Dan and gently ran his fingers through his curls. “I’m obsessed with these, Dan. But if you insist, I have some crappy GHDs you can use.”

“Thanks,” Dan said quietly, momentarily dazed by Phil’s sudden closeness and the feeling of his fingers on his scalp.

Phil lingered a moment longer, moving his hand from Dan’s hair to gently stroke the side of his face before returning to the cupboard and asking, “Crunchy Nut or Shreddies?”

*

They spent the afternoon in Phil’s lounge, eating popcorn and Maltesers, drinking coffee, playing Crash Bandicoot and howling with laughter until Dan’s sides ached. He had been so caught up in admiration and physical longing for Phil that he had failed to properly notice how genuinely hilarious he was. He loved the ease with which they could make each other laugh, loved being able to take the pressure off navigating their budding romance for a while and just have fun.

For a few hours, Dan felt like a kid again. Being with Phil made him forget that most of the time he didn’t really like himself, that maybe he didn’t live up to the expectations his family had of him, that he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. In that moment all he knew was that being with Phil felt good, and that was enough.

“Do you still want to film a video today?” Dan asked, when he noticed with surprise that the last rays of daylight had already disappeared. He had been nervous when Phil had suggested it, but he was feeling giddy with happiness and so comfortable with Phil that the thought now filled him with exhilaration; he was going to make a video with his YouTube idol.

“Oh, yeah! Crap, I almost forgot. You’re too distracting, Danny.”

He reached for his phone and tweeted:

Hey :] ask me anonymous questions i’m recording a Q+A vid now!!!

Phil checked his phone a few minutes later and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, these are really strange, even for me.”

“Should be fun,” Dan said. “If you get me a pen and some paper I’ll write down the best ones. I think it’ll be funnier if you don’t see them.”

Dan scrolled through the responses and scribbled down the funniest and weirdest ones while Phil set up the camera.

“Ready?” Dan asked

“Almost.” Being the odd, imaginative video-maker he was, Phil surprised Dan by pulling out a sharpie and drawing a cat nose and whiskers on their faces. “Ok, now we’re ready.”

“I swear you are a closet furry.”

Something about sitting in front of a camera made them instantly cheeky and giggly and Dan came alive in a way he hadn’t in his own first videos. Sitting so close to Phil and knowing that his thousands of subscribers would see them gave him a feeling of pride. Whether consciously or not, Dan was becoming more and more flirty with each passing question and Phil seemed to be inching ever closer to Dan.

“If you had to lose your leg or your nose what would you lose?” Dan asked.

“I’d lose my leg, imagine my face without a nose.”

“Voldemort has no nose, and Voldemort’s pretty fit to be honest.”

“I already look like Voldemort.”

Dan smirked before saying with a cheeky grin, “I would bang Voldemort.”

He looked over at Phil, whose mouth had fallen open slightly. Dan laughed.

There was much giggling and many absurd animal noises. Dan took the camera on a tour of Phil’s terrifying haunted house. Dan held out a stuffed lion for Phil to kiss. Phil held a Wall-E toy in front of Dan’s face, and Dan licked it suggestively.

When Dan shoved a photo of Miley Cyrus into his mouth and moaned loudly, Phil said, “Bloody hell, Dan. Save it for later.”

When they had run out of questions, Dan looked at the camera and deadpanned, “This was the most fun I’ve ever had.”

No sooner had the words left Dan’s mouth than Phil turned and tackled him to the ground. Dan huffed out a surprised laugh as they hit the floor together, Phil on top of Dan’s chest with his arms wrapped around Dan’s shoulders.

“Hi,” Dan said once the breath had returned to his body.

“Hi,” Phil replied, seeming lost in thought as he stared into Dan’s eyes.

It was then that Dan noticed just how poor a job Skype had done at capturing the true beauty of Phil’s face. His large eyes were not simply blue, but a striking combination of blue, green and yellow. His lips were full and soft and a constellation of light brown freckles dotted his nose and cheeks. His skin was very fair, but smooth apart from the hint of stubble that scratched at Dan’s lips ever so gently as he leaned in and kissed Phil, not desperate this time but slow and sweet. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist as Phil moved his hand to cup Dan’s jaw tenderly and deepened the kiss, parting his lips and sweeping Dan’s tongue softly with his own.

They stayed this way for a while, lying on Phil’s bedroom floor, their mouths coming together over and over, exploring each other in a warm haze of lips and tongue and Dan thought he had never been kissed like this before. Not even close.

Phil shifted his body a little then and Dan opened his legs so Phil could move in between them. Dan moved his hands down to Phil’s hips. This change in position seemed to set something off in Phil. His kisses became wetter and deeper, his teeth catching Dan’s bottom lip and biting gently. Dan slipped his hands up under Phil’s shirt and pressed his palms down firmly on the bare skin of Phil’s back, forcing him to lower himself even further onto Dan’s chest.

Now Phil’s body was all but crushing into Dan, and he felt intoxicated by the warm weight enveloping him. When Phil’s lips moved to lightly lick Dan’s ear and kiss down his neck, Dan let out a quiet breathy moan and rocked his hips up into Phil’s before he even realized what he was doing. Even through two pairs of skinny jeans Dan could feel that Phil was just as excited as he was.

“Fuck, Dan,” Phil breathed out against Dan’s neck. “You’re so hot.”

“You too,” Dan croaked.

“Oh shit!” Phil yelped suddenly, pulling back from Dan.

“What?” Dan asked, bewildered.

“The camera is still recording,” Phil said as he stood up and went to turn it off. “That’s going to add some serious time to my editing job,” he chuckled.

Dan lowered his head onto the floor and remained flat on his back in a daze until Phil walked back over to him and held out his hand to help Dan up. “Sorry,” he said.

Dan took Phil’s hand and said as he stood up, “That was… fun.”

Phil laughed and brushed Dan’s cheek lightly with his thumb. “Your whiskers are smudged.”

“Yours too,’ Dan replied.

Phil looked at his phone and said, “It’s later than I thought… should we go to bed?”

“I guess. I just need the toilet first,” Dan said, grabbing his toothbrush.

After he’d brushed his teeth and washed the whiskers off as much as he could, he took off his shirt and jeans and looked at himself in the mirror. He was slender and still a little tanned from the summer sun and his chest was smooth and hairless. He looked like a boy compared to Phil. He had never been kind to himself and body image was no exception, but he forced himself to look at his reflection and see what Phil must see: long limbs, big hands, deep brown eyes, the healthy glow of youth.

He took a deep breath and returned to Phil’s room with his clothes in hand. Phil was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting, and he stilled when he saw Dan in nothing but his boxers. Dan didn’t miss Phil’s eyes rake up and down his body as he walked over and stood in front of Phil.

“Is this ok?” Dan asked quietly.

Phil nodded and stood up. Dan looked at him for a moment before reaching out and slowly unbuttoning Phil’s shirt. Phil’s breath hitched as Dan undid the last button and pushed the shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor. Dan ducked his head down and placed three wet kisses along Phil’s collarbone.

“Dan…” Phil whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I really need to go brush my teeth.”

Dan snorted and punched him lightly on the shoulder. “You asshole! I was trying to seduce you!”

“I know and you’re doing such a good job.” Phil laughed and Dan saw his tongue poke out between his teeth and felt his heart melt.

“Alright then you spork, go brush your teeth.”

When Phil returned from the bathroom he too had stripped down to just his boxers. He turned out the light and slipped under the covers. Dan shuffled over to him immediately and tucked his head into the crook of Phil’s neck. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist and sighed deeply.

Feeling the warmth of Phil’s naked chest pressed against his was intoxicating, but Dan felt Phil’s body tense a little and suspected that he had been holding something back.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

Dan was silent for a minute before asking, “You do want me, don’t you?”

Phil sounded startled when he replied, “Of course I do. Can’t you tell?”

“Well, you keep stopping. When you told me we could take things slow, I thought you meant if _I_ was uncomfortable. But… am I making _you_ uncomfortable?”

“God, no. Definitely not, Dan. I just…” Phil rolled over onto his back and covered his face with his hands. Dan waited, afraid of what he might say next. At this point if Phil broke things off it was going to hurt. A lot.

“When you asked me if I’d ever been with a guy, I said kind of… which was true, but… God this is embarrassing.”

Dan took Phil’s hands in his and squeezed reassuringly.

“I’m a virgin,” Phil blurted out. “I made it seem like I knew what I was doing, and I don’t. I’ve hooked up with a few guys but that’s it.”

Dan smiled. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that… that’s why you keep stopping yourself?”

Phil nodded. Dan felt relief wash through him.

“It’s ok, Phil. It’s actually good. This means we can figure things out together. I mean, if you want to. Someday.”

“I want to,” Phil replied quickly.

“Ok,” Dan said, smiling again, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. “Me too.”

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist again and pulled him against his chest. He brought his mouth to Dan’s ear and whispered, “I do know how to do some things, though.”

Dan’s stomach lurched. He turned his head and caught Phil’s bottom lip between his teeth before whispering, “Show me sometime?”

“Definitely.”

They fell silent after that, lying in each other’s arms. He felt fatigue begin to settle behind his eyes as he listened to Phil’s slow breathing. “Phil?” he mumbled drowsily. “Can I tell you something?”

“Mhmm.”

“I’m so glad I stalked you so hard.”

“Me too,” Phil whispered as he kissed the top of Dan’s head. “Goodnight, Dan.”

“Night,” he murmured, already half asleep.

*

Dan felt the sun on his face. He felt breath in his ear and an arm slung across his chest, a thumb gently stroking the smooth skin there. He felt the touch of Phil’s bare legs tucked up behind his own and something firm pressing lightly into his ass cheek. Somehow in the night Dan had positioned himself into a little spoon. He realized with a flip of his stomach that Phil was awake and he was hard and he wasn’t trying to hide it. He wasn’t moving his hips or thrusting himself into Dan but he was decidedly not trying to pull away.

“Good morning,” he whispered into Dan’s ear, hot and low, and Dan realized he was hard too.

He answered Phil by craning his neck to the side to give him full access. Phil took the hint immediately and licked a stripe from collarbone to jaw and ghosted warm breath over the wet skin, sending shivers down Dan’s spine. He arched his back to push himself further into the hard line of Phil, who bit into Dan’s neck and moved his hand down to grip Dan’s hip firmly. Phil repositioned himself a little so he was nestled in between Dan’s cheeks and rolled his hips gently, pressing himself harder into Dan and letting a low moan escape from his throat. He moved his hand again, this time sliding it down to rest low on Dan’s stomach, tracing circles on his skin with his thumb while continuing to lick and suck and bite at Dan’s neck. His pinkie slipped below the waistband of Dan’s boxers and Dan’s breath hitched.

“Phil.”

“Hm?” Phil hummed into Dan’s neck.

“Touch me.”

And then Phil’s hand was sliding down into Dan’s boxers and wrapping around his hard flesh and pulling and twisting and Dan couldn’t help moaning and thrusting a little into Phil’s hand. He felt Phil suck his earlobe and bite his neck while working his hand up and down and it felt so good and so right that Dan felt warmth spreading in the pit of his stomach after only a few minutes. It had been a long time since he’d been touched this way by someone other than himself, and he had to admit now that it had never felt like this. It was hot and intimate and he could have finished right then and there with Phil pressing into the cleft of his ass and biting the flesh of his shoulder but he wanted more. He wanted to touch Phil and make him moan and watch his face as he came.

He flipped over to face Phil and rubbed his palm over the bulge in his boxers.

“Can I?”

“Please,” Phil whispered.

Dan slowly pulled Phil’s boxers down low enough to be out of the way. Without the overwhelming sensation of Phil’s hands working him over, he suddenly felt nervous; he’d never done this before.

He looked up at Phil and kissed him and said, “Can we do it at the same time?” Phil nodded and kissed him again, deep and wet, licking into his mouth with intent. It was hot and dirty and just what Dan needed, his mind clouding over instantly with lust as he reached out and took hold of Phil’s hard length. Dan was so taken aback at the sheer girth in his hand that he pulled his mouth from Phil’s. “Fuck, Phil. You should have warned me.”

Phil answered by bringing his palm up to his face, licking it filthily all the way to the tips of his fingers and wrapping it around Dan again. Dan closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep from crying out, the sensation was so intense. He moved his hand on Phil the way he would have done on himself, and it must have been good because Phil moaned low in his throat and buried his face in Dan’s neck.

Over the next little while Dan tried to pay attention to Phil’s reactions and noises, tried to work out the techniques he liked by studying Phil’s face, but his skin was on fire and tingles were shooting down his legs and the pleasure Phil was making him feel was so powerful that he worried he was a little too distracted to give him the experience he deserved. It was chaotic and uncoordinated, so Dan was surprised when he felt Phil’s hand go still and heard him gasp, saw his eyes screw shut and felt the wet warmth of Phil’s climax on his fingers.

Phil’s hand started working up and down on Dan almost immediately and with the image of Phil’s face behind his eyes it only took a few seconds for Dan to pant, “Phil, I’m gonna come.” Phil squeezed harder and pumped faster until Dan’s whole body tensed and he felt his orgasm crashing over him like a wave as he spilled out over Phil’s fist.

They lay beside each other breathing heavily for a moment and Dan felt as if he was floating. Phil rolled into him and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then got up and said, “Be right back.”

He returned with a tissue and handed it to Dan. Dan cleaned himself up and Phil climbed back under the covers and pulled Dan into his arms. “You’re amazing,” he murmured into Dan’s hair.

“No, that’s you remember?” Dan teased.

Phil smiled. “Sorry to jump you the second you woke up.”

“Phil, I liked it. A lot,” Dan insisted. “No one’s ever made me feel that good before.” He blushed. The post-sex euphoria was clouding his inhibitions, making him much more honest and forthcoming than he would normally be.

“Me neither,” Phil whispered. Dan nuzzled into Phil’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist and they both closed their eyes and fell back to sleep, blissful and sated.

*

Too soon, it was time for Dan to return to Wokingham. Being the gentleman that he was, Phil had insisted on riding the bus to the train station with Dan.

Dan felt a strange heaviness in his chest that he was sure was too much emotion to feel for someone he’d technically just met. He didn’t want to go back to the place where no one really knew who he was or cared enough to find out. This weekend had felt like much more than the beginning of a relationship with Phil. It felt like it could be the beginning of a relationship with authenticity and creativity and joy. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to that feeling.

When the train pulled in, Dan gathered Phil in his arms and embraced him tightly.

“I’ll see you again in ten days,” Phil said, seeming to sense Dan’s melancholy.

“The longest ten days of my life.”

“Yeah.”

Dan boarded the train and waved as he watched Phil get further and further away as the train pulled out of the station. Not two minutes went by before Dan felt his phone go off.

_i miss you already <3_

_me too. god we’re sappy fucks_

_you have that effect on me. come back_

_i wish_  
_phil?_

_yeah?_

_there’s something i want to say.._

_ok_

_nevermind it’s nothing_

_dan?_

_yeah?_

_i love you too_


End file.
